The Irony of Hypervigilance

The older I get, the more my hypervigilance kicks in! Hypervigilance is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats. Hypervigilance is also accompanied by a state of increased anxiety which can cause exhaustion. Other symptoms include: abnormally increased arousal, a high responsiveness to stimuli and a constant scanning of the environment for threats. 

I get to feeling everyone around me is going nuts and I feel like the David Bowie character from 'The Man Who Fell To Earth'. I seem to be just standing around observing everyone going nuts... in slow motion! Don't get me wrong, I'm active and very much involved but it's strangely relative. 

The first thing that comes to mind is that I'm going to be dead in 15 years! That thought constantly goes through my head daily! I'm obsesed with my own mortality and I'm thrilled hear that most people are too... even though many people here on planet Earth refuse to admit it! For example... someone might say to me, "They have decided to use your music behind (famous product line) and will pay you a generous amount of money!" My first response is "I'm going to be dead in 15 years!" I then think to myself "Wait a moment, that's an inappropriate response... paint a stupid smile on your face and tell them how exciting it is!" ... Then a person says "Frank, isn't that fantastic?" I think to myself "I'm going to be dead in 15 years!"... Then I'll smile and say "Yes! That's fantastic!" . . . Oh, The Irony of Hypervigilance!